Sunday, September 23, 2007

We were put on notice

About a month ago, our stake had a Standards Night. Usually this is for the young men and women, but this year it was for parents and leaders of the youth. The meeting was really good so I decided to write about it.

President Cowan, a counselor in the Stake Presidency, explained the reason why they decided to have Standards Night for the adults this year. He shared an experience from the summer. As the mother's were dropping off their girls at the stake center for girl's camp, he and the Stake Young Women's President noticed what the mothers were wearing. They were appalled. It was decided that if we as parents and adults are not setting a good example for our youth, then it won't matter how many times they are taught what is right.

We heard from several speakers which included members of our Stake Presidency and the Bishop of our stake's singles ward. They talked about the woes of pornography. The Bishop of the singles ward said about 25% of his members are under disciplinary action, most of it stemming from pornography. President Cowan (who works for the school board) quoted results from a survey that showed a high percentage of young adults don't have any interpersonal skills; skills that will be needed on their missions, jobs, etc. Experts have speculated that this is partially a result of the amount of texting that goes on between people nowadays. The survey also showed a high percentage of kids have never worked and saved money for a major purchase, have never made their beds or mowed a lawn. So I guess it's okay to have a chore chart--even though my kids complain that none of their friends have to do jobs.

Lately I have been feeling I was too strict on what I let my kids watch on TV and at the movies. Many of my kids' friends come from good, strong, religious families, and they are allowed to see some movies that my kids are not allowed to. I was starting to feel like I needed to lighten up. But now I feel like we are doing okay. They are not going to die if they don't see a certain movie. But I also learned that I need to let my kids fail more. Life is about learning from our struggles and mistakes. If I shelter them and save them all the time, then they never have the chance to learn and grow.

So basically, we as adults were put on notice to model the behavior we expect in our children, to not be afraid to let our kids fail, and to be more aware of what our kids are doing. Sage and timely advice in this troubled world that we are required to live in but not of.

1 comment:

Rinez said...

What an amazing meeting that must have been and such a good idea. I say "good for you" in the way you monitor and screen the computer and tv and movies for your boys. They are the better for it!